JUANA SUMMERS, HOST:
Even if this theme song doesn't ring a bell...
(SOUNDBITE OF TV SHOW, "JON & KATE PLUS 8")
JON GOSSELIN: It might be a crazy life.
KATE GOSSELIN: But it's our life.
SUMMERS: ...At some point, you probably heard of "Jon & Kate Plus 8," one of the most popular reality TV shows of the late aughts. It featured Pennsylvania parents Jon and Kate Gosselin, their twin daughters and their sextuplets who were toddlers when the show started in 2007.
COLLIN GOSSELIN: It was fun in the beginning before things got out of control.
SUMMERS: That is one of the sextuplets. Collin Gosselin, now grown up. And he's out with a new book that includes disturbing allegations against his mom, Kate. So we do want to note this segment includes descriptions of abuse. Collin Gosselin says he was punished, isolated and later, before he turned 12, institutionalized. His mom has said it was for unpredictable and violent tendencies. But he says he doesn't know why it happened, only that he no longer wanted to be on TV.
C GOSSELIN: There came this point where I realized that what I was being put through as a child was not healthy and it was not natural, and I had to say something. I had to push back against that.
SUMMERS: Gosselin's memoir is called "In The Shadow Of Eight: Surviving The Reality Of My Childhood." And he's actually back on reality TV now on the competition series "Special Forces." He's been doing press for that and for his book. So when I talked with him recently, his voice was a bit worn, but his emotions seemed clear, especially about what happened when his parents split up in 2009. It put a ton of tabloid scrutiny on the family, and as Collin Gosselin told me, it was all just really tough to process as a kid.
C GOSSELIN: What I didn't know was that in the public, there was this super-messy divorce. As an adult, when I learned all of that, it was just heartbreaking that they were - you know, especially my father was dragged through the mud in the way that he was.
SUMMERS: In your book, you make some really serious allegations about being isolated in the house. That's a pattern that you say went on for two years. I'll note that your mother, through her attorney, has previously denied all allegations of abuse. But at the time, Collin, what did you understand about why this was happening to you?
C GOSSELIN: I mean, I was being forced to perform.
SUMMERS: Yeah.
C GOSSELIN: When I spoke up against that, I was punished. And my mom retaliated because I did not want to be a part of her program.
SUMMERS: I know that this is a bit of a challenging question, but I wonder, when you talk about the abuse that you endured in that house, tell us specifically what you mean.
C GOSSELIN: My mom was very, very physical with me, and it was just me. My mom would hit me. She would pull my ear, open-hand slap me, push me, yank me around. At one point, she had zip-tied my ankles and wrists together and kept me bound and locked in my room. And beyond that, there was just years and years of mental and emotional abuse and just anything that would - as a child, would make you just want to just give it all up. I mean, years I endured that.
SUMMERS: When a child says something is wrong or alleges abuse, there are supposed to be adults and institutions who are capable of recognizing it and stepping in and intervening. Do you feel like there are people that failed you or who didn't ask the right questions on behalf of you and your siblings?
C GOSSELIN: Yes. There are many adults, institutions, organizations, networks that did not recognize or chose not to recognize. You know, that's the danger is that when adults see things - see these things happening, they should - they need to say something.
SUMMERS: There are so many parts of your memoir that are hard to read, but for me, at least, one of the most difficult parts of the book was when you wrote about being medicated and eventually institutionalized. How old were you when that happened? And what were adults telling you about why this was happening to you?
C GOSSELIN: I was 11 years old when I was put into the institution. And you asked what adults were telling me. They weren't telling me anything. And I would often ask questions. I mean, for 22 months, I was in this institution. And I did ask. And upon asking, there were no answers.
SUMMERS: Twenty-two months is a long time for anyone. It feels like a really long time for a kid as young as you were. What got you through it?
C GOSSELIN: I just - I've always been a very hopeful person. And so I just had to hope and imagine what my life outside of there could look like. I thought about living with my father and having a normal childhood. And that thought, that hope that that letter I wrote could get out to him and could get me out of there, that was my hope.
SUMMERS: You did write a letter to your father, Jon Gosselin. Talk about writing that letter to your dad and how you felt when you learned that he'd actually gotten it.
C GOSSELIN: I first felt as I was writing it that I thought my father resented me. I thought he never wanted to see me. That's what I was told by my mom. And when I learned that he had gotten it, I mean, he told me at one point that he did not know where I was until he received that letter.
SUMMERS: Wow.
C GOSSELIN: When I first came home, we had to learn how to be father and son again. Like, we had to really fight to be there for each other and understand each other and hear each other. And today, I mean, we're like best friends.
SUMMERS: That's incredible. Collin, children still appear on reality TV shows, increasingly on family influencer content online. You lived through an earlier version of this. What protections do you think need to exist for this new generation of kids who are on our screens, on our phones, on our reels - protections that you and your siblings didn't have?
C GOSSELIN: When it comes down to it, I don't have a huge complex answer. My answer's simple. It's that adults first need to recognize what's going on, and when they see something that is not right, they need to speak up about it.
SUMMERS: What's your relationship like with your mom and your siblings today?
C GOSSELIN: Unfortunately, I have not spoken to my siblings in about eight years now because my mom told them the story she wanted them to hear about me. But the truth is, they don't know me, and they know only the version that my mom wants them to hear. And I just - like I said, I'm a hopeful person, and I can hope that one day they will get to know me because I love them. I've always loved them.
SUMMERS: Am I right in remembering that you did, though, live with one of your siblings when you lived with your dad, right?
C GOSSELIN: Yes, that's correct. Hannah.
SUMMERS: What's your relationship like with her today?
C GOSSELIN: We're doing well. We talk here and there, and it's just nice to know that Hannah understands some of where I can come from.
SUMMERS: Collin, what do you hope comes next for you?
C GOSSELIN: I hope that I can keep using my voice. I mean, I don't really have a voice today, and I apologize, but even without a voice, I will still use my voice. I am hoping that if I can change the situation for one child, that makes it all worth it for me.
SUMMERS: We've been speaking with Collin Gosselin. His new memoir is called "In The Shadow Of Eight: Surviving The Reality Of My Childhood." Collin, thank you so much.
C GOSSELIN: Thank you, Juana, for having me.
SUMMERS: And we reached out to Kate Gosselin as well as a former president of TLC, the network that aired the show at the height of its popularity. We have not received any responses to what Collin Gosselin said.
(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by an NPR contractor. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.
