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'It's easy to put up a strong face': Kula evacuee reflects on processing collective loss

Volunteers and neighbors gather at the community hub they formed in Kula to debrief after a long day of extinguishing ongoing hot spots, clearing brush and handing out supplies to those displaced by the wildfire.
Photo by Catherine Cluett Pactol
Volunteers and neighbors gather at the community hub they formed in Kula to debrief after a long day of extinguishing ongoing hot spots, clearing brush and handing out supplies to those displaced by the wildfire.

Kula resident Kyle Ellison's home was the first in the area to be evacuated when the Upcountry Maui fires broke out on Aug. 8. He said the flames started in the gulch behind his house.

"We didn't have water on the initial day of the fire, which was the problem in many places," Ellison said.

"We didn't have any water Wednesday morning. I mean, I was pulling water out of my kids' basketball hoop base to pour into buckets to try to put out flare ups that are still within feet of the house," he said.

Two weeks later, residents and firefighters continue to battle fires in Kula. Tap water in Upcountry Maui has been deemed potentially toxic and unsafe to drink, cook or bathe in.

But on Aug. 8, Ellison's only thought was keeping his family safe.

"I had neighbors run up and help me frantically grab my wife's clothing out of the closet, and you're running down the hill holding your personal belongings, and they're spilling out over the yard as you're running from the smoke," he recalled.

"They helped me grab the belongings out of my house and then grab garden hoses that only had half pressure and try to save my house," Ellison said. "Then their house ends up burning later that night. They're here for me but I'm not here for them.”

Now he's trying to repay the debt.

“So today, I'm out there with picks and shovels, I'm pulling stumps and burned green waste out of their driveway and watering their ʻōhi'a tree that they're trying to save," he said. "Because what else can I do? Your house is gone, but I'm going to water your burned ʻōhi'a tree and help pull out your burned plants.”

Nineteen homes and structures have burned in the Kula and Olinda areas of Maui, along with about 1,200 acres.
Photo by Catherine Cluett Pactol
Nineteen homes and structures have burned in the Kula and Olinda areas of Maui, along with about 1,200 acres.

Ellison quickly acknowledged his community's thoughts are with Lāhainā, where residents were hit so much harder. The West Maui fire has killed at least 115 people and burned more than 2,000 structures.

But 19 homes also burned down in Upcountry Maui. Additional homes, including Ellison's, are currently unlivable from smoke damage.

"You may be doing something for people that you may feel is small, especially on your sixth, seventh, eighth day in a row of volunteering," he said.

"A lot of people are going on adrenaline," Ellison said. "A lot of people are in shock, denial, processing their own emotions, and everybody is going to hit that point of realization when the adrenaline calms down and you start thinking, and it just kind of hits you.”

For Ellison, that day came last week. He was so busy helping with the fires, he forgot it was his kids' first day of school. He sent them with cloth Target bags and water bottles from the aid station because they didn't have backpacks.

That night, a truck pulled up with 100 donated backpacks and school supplies.

"My friends get out and hand me three backpacks, and it's just stocked with everything my kids will need — toys, books, materials, everything. And I just lost it. For me, that was my point of like, just ... thank you."

Ellison and fellow Kula residents have formed a community aid station to hand out supplies and help their neighbors fight fires and clear hazardous brush. They have volunteered thousands of hours to the effort, and hauled many tons of debris that could fuel additional flare-ups.

"It's really easy to put up a strong face and say I'm OK, and everyone asks, 'How can I help you?' and say, 'I'm OK, I'm OK.' That's easy," Ellison said.

"It's a lot harder to admit that you're not, and it's a lot harder to actually accept aid and accept help and admit it yourself that I do need help," Ellison said. "Right now, I am one of the affected people. I am a displaced person. I don't have backpacks for my kids."

"I don't know if we're all doing this because it is a shared sense of purpose," he added. "I don't know if we're all doing this here because it's just when you don't know where to start, you just start.”

Catherine Cluett Pactol is a general assignment reporter covering Maui Nui for Hawaiʻi Public Radio. Contact her at cpactol@hawaiipublicradio.org.
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