In public and private ways, we all get lessons in grief. American poet and novelist May Sarton once said “a garden is always a series of losses set against a few triumphs, like life itself.” We frequently get reminders of that. The collective national ache of the Newtown and Webster shootings are the latest public examples. They leave us with the question: Where do you put all the grief? what do you do with it? Dr. June Ching is a clinical psychologist specializing in traumatic events.