In public and private ways, we all get lessons in grief. American poet and novelist May Sarton once said “a garden is always a series of losses set against a few triumphs, like life itself.” We frequently get reminders of that. The collective national ache of the Newtown shooting is the latest public example. It leaves us with the question: Where do you put all the grief, what do you do with it? Dr. June Ching is a clinical psychologist specializing in traumatic events.